THE PHYSICAL WEIGHT OF EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE
There are certain moments in your life that make you stop and recollect on what you’ve been through the past few years. Shooting with Ally Pintucci from RYU was definitely one of them for me. When did I become a person that an athletic apparel brand wanted to have in their advertising? How have I been so fortunate to have this happen to me? My reality today couldn’t be more opposite than it was as little as 5 years ago. As I stood in front of her camera I was hit with the realization that the path that has led me here was sparked by a moment that unknowingly changed everything.
100lbs ago, I was crippled with self-doubt. Social situations were uncomfortable and the thought of doing anything physical wasn’t even a question. I was burdened with an emotional weight that had a deeper effect on my every move, than I even knew at the time. Then one day I woke up and made the most confronting and life altering statement of my life. “I Am Gay.”
LIVING AN UNAPOLOGETIC LIFE
In the months and year that followed, I started to live a genuine, unapologetic life and spent most of my time focusing on my mental and emotional state. I read books and took courses geared towards developing a stronger sense of self and before too long, I realized my physical health was in dire need of help. I had allowed myself to become so weak that I was unable to do a single push up. A simple body weight squat made my knees feel as though they were about to burst and my lungs would strain to take a breath moving up a set of stairs. At one point I weighed in at over 300lbs and was convinced that my weight was the only thing people saw in me. I felt like no one knew who I really was.
THE HARDEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE
Walking through the doors of my first Crossfit gym, my coach said very bluntly “This is going to be the hardest thing you’ve ever done.” And he was absolutely right. Every step of the way was met with that same paralyzing self-doubt and every socially accepted excuse to quit. But this time my mind was strong enough to say “NO, this is NOT an option” Temptation was in my face at all times but somehow, with the weight that was lifted as I started to live my true and genuine self, I was able to push it all aside and stay focused on my goals and finally let my total overall health be my #1 priority.
While it slowly got better as time went on, it quickly became evident that the lifestyle I was working towards was not a short-term solution, nor would it ever be easy. There is always another challenge, always another goal and no matter how many times my alarm goes off at 5am, it’s never become “easy” to get out of bed. I tell all of my family, friends and clients that we need to celebrate every time we make the healthy choice because it is a hard decision to make every single time, and we deserve to recognize that fact no matter how long you have been doing it.
THE DAY IT ALL CHANGED
Every single day I look forward to the challenges that wait for me at Crossfit; excited to jump onto the bike and lead 35 people in a beat driven sweat fest at Spin Society, and commit myself to helping others find their path in health and well-being in Move Society. My entire life has evolved into the one thing I was most terrified of growing up into. But now I can’t imagine it any other way. Until last week, if someone were to ask me “What was the moment it all changed?” I would have said “I don’t know, it was just time.”
But today my response would be different. The day it all changed is when I understood that my mental and emotional patterns would dictate my physical results and I decided to conquer my fear of failure and recognize the potential in everything I couldn’t do. It was the moment I became committed to do what it takes to have what I want and that was the day I decided to be the most authentic version of myself I could be. Everything I ever wanted (and everything I didn’t even know I wanted) started to unfold in front me. Which brings me to today. Here I stand in front of Ally’s camera with a barbell on my back, sweating and proud of every bead that drips from my chin, because it takes work to sweat.
And it takes work to succeed.
Written by Brent Price
Brent Price has spent the majority of his life being obese. Tipping the scales at a whopping 310lbs, he made the decision 5 years ago to prioritize his health – with remarkable results. Brent trains at Studeo55 Crossfit 6 days a week along with regular running, swimming and spinning. He also offers lifestyle and fitness coaching at Move Society for people looking to start their own journey in health and fitness.