Empowering Change

Molly Smith / Jan 08, 2019

You don’t just set goals. You live them. You train hard. We’re here to support your athletic journey as far and as fast as you choose to go.

This month we’ll be highlighting key members within our universe who’ve persisted through hard times and, because of this, have become a force to be reckoned with.

Just remember, it’s never too late to turn your life around.

I genuinely thought I was always just meant to be overweight. I would dream of losing the weight and instantly revert back and tell myself it was never going to happen. I would tell myself constantly tomorrow would be the day, I’d be different and the diet would stick. I’ve probably started a diet 1000 times and failed. One day something clicked, I started seeing results and that was enough to set the ball rolling.

I used to blame my surroundings for my obesity. When I went to university, I assumed I’d lose all the weight. Instead, I gained another 30 pounds in just two years. I would always slip up when hanging out with friends. Luckily, most of my friends do not deal with food addiction and can have junk food around in moderation without triggering a 10,000-calorie binge eat.

Now I realize that these are my issues and no one else’s. The only way to live a balanced life is to take personal accountability for what I eat and not blame those around me. If anything, it just gave me an excuse to binge for years and years. Know that it’s on you to change, you control your life and you control your destiny.

IN THE BEGINNING

I was overweight my entire life. I was constantly picked on in elementary school – kids are cruel. I never wanted to be in sports because I was embarrassed and I knew I was going to be singled out as the fat kid. I was always horrified when we had to have set outfits for anything in school. I would panic and wonder if anything would even fit me. I remember prom dress shopping with my heart raced because dress after dress didn’t fit. I used to lay awake for weeks leading up to things knowing I was going to be singled out.

I started starving myself when I was 10 years old. I was so young, I didn’t even know what I was doing, but I just wanted to be skinny. I would get hunger pains and tell myself that was a good thing because it meant I was losing weight. I’ve gone weeks without eating. Eating disorders are still something I deal with to this day.

I think this was when I developed an anxiety/paranoia disorder. I used to see people whispering and automatically think they were talking badly about me and my heart would race and all the blood would rush to my face. Any time someone said the word fat, my heart would race. I got singled out probably weekly for being overweight for 10 years of my life in school. I even once had a teacher tell me to sit down because I was blocking the way of other people to see, the entire class of course started laugh.

I just want to help people out there, going through school or just a hard time in life, by letting them know that it gets better. Just don’t ever give up, life can always get better.

MIND SHIFT

It’s amazing that people get so used to feeling like shit that they don’t even know that something’s wrong. We’re practically normalizing sickness and disease. I used to feel horrible all the time, but to me that was just the usual. Until I became healthy, I didn’t even know there was another way to live.

It’s semi-embarrassing to admit, but the main reason I lost my first ten pounds was because I was super into a guy and I knew he wouldn’t be interested in me unless I lost weight. The boy faded quickly, but once I realized I could do it on my own, I was hooked.

When I started, I was only able to run for 45 seconds. Let that sink in. Within 45 seconds I was gasping for breath. It seemed impossible and I hated it. I genuinely felt like I’d never be able to run, so I started walking, then hiking and now I run. It’s so hard when you’re starting at the bottom, but everything just takes time.

METAMORPHOSIS

I started this journey to fit in and I’m finishing this journey wanting to stand out. I want to empower all of you to change your lives and know that you’re worth it. You deserve to live longer and live happier. You deserve to love and feel loved.

I hate that it took me years of fighting against my body to get here. When I finally realized this, that I was fighting against my health and not my weight, it drastically changed my perspective. I chose to love myself and to nourish my body so I can live longer. I chose to exercise to feel good and not to look good. We have to get away from finding the short cut, stop focusing on looks and start focusing on health.

It’s actually insane to think where I would be today if I hadn’t made that first move. Would I have gained more weight? Would my anxiety and depression take an all time low and cause me to do something I couldn’t take back?

All I can hope is that my transformation somehow resonates with people and helps them make a change in their life before it is too late.

Molly Smith

Molly is the authentic face of our Size Up/Size Down Program. Molly has inspired thousands of people by sharing her journey in a very genuine and transparent way. Going from a size 18 to a size 8, Molly uses her experience to help others make the choices to lead healthier and more active lifestyles.

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